Darcy Is Anything But Shy
by KlausCarolineLover
Summary: Loki/Darcy - Shy


"Who the hell told you I was shy?"

Never in my many mundane days, not counting the ones that involved Thor (who I enjoyed shirtless oh so much), did I expect his dear homicidal brother to come pay me a visit and want me to bow down to him.

(while I was busy taking a picture of his shiny horns and posting it on facebook)

"Thor told me that you would be the first mewling quim to kneel before me, little girl. Was he wrong to say so?"

It became quite clear that Thor had pulled one on his little brother, who was really great at tricks but not immune to being tricked, and had sent him over my way as payback.

(if any of my siblings had tried to murder me I wouldn't have shook it off so easily)

"Hell yes, I would go down burning rather than kneel to you, Mr. Satan man with those damn shiny horns."

I held back from touching those horns that were begging me to play with them, me not doing want I wanted when I wanted to was a very rare thing (but from my times with gods I know better now), instead making sure I was fully armed incase Loki got frisky.

"You are feisty for a human; I've only met those who've run away from me in fear. I highly doubt you'd do that, woman, and that is incredibly foolish of you."

Loki made the mistake of invading my personal space, if it had been someone less interesting I would have kicked his ass already (Tony and his ego got quite a beating), and pointing those horns at me so I gave him a nice zap with my trusty taser.

"I'm sorry, God, did I give you a booboo?"

It helped to know that these immortal guys, who dressed like medieval bums (however it helps that they are all sexy, yet somewhat pasty men), were not immune to everything and I made sure to do this every time a creepy god decided to surprise me on a damn Monday morning.

(and from the way his eyes bugged out of his head I knew he hadn't come across many tasers, or women brave enough to shoot them off)

"What in the gods is that horrible weapon-ahhhh."

I couldn't control myself any longer and let lose a giggle I would be ashamed of later, quickly grabbing one of his golden horns when he was doubled over, when I gave him another shock.

(the evil side of me was enjoying this way too much and wanted to give him another dose of my human made power)

"A very handy taser that I guess works on immortal bastards like you, it doesn't feel very good now does it? I could always stop zapping you, that is, if you kneel and call me Darcy and not just woman, deal?"

I waited for him to give me another reason to hurt him; from the way he strutted around the place I didn't expect him to have any modesty, and from the grim look on his snow white colored face I knew that he wouldn't.

"Never tell Thor about this, Wo-Darcy, please."

(I was already texting Jane all of the details and that meant Thor was going to hear about this and let lose his mighty laugh)

"Yeah, sure, it's not like I really talk to the big guy very much, besides when he stops by he just makes out with Jane the entire damn time. Feeling any better, God of Mischief?"

I helped him to his feet, fighting the overwhelming urge to kick him when he was on the ground, dusting off his villain uniform and trying not to giggle at what the hell he was wearing.

(at least Thor didn't have a helmet that looked like antlers)

"So I guess you're not going to stop by and visit me anytime soon?"

"I might stop by one day, when I'm ruling your world with an iron fist, you, my dear, are the first human I actually see as my somewhat equal. And you're very pleasing to the eyes."

He was getting a little fresh with me, and as the boys around me knew that wasn't a very good idea (I tend to find really bad reasons to bring out Mr. Sparky) so I whipped out my best friend so he wouldn't forget to mind his lecherous ways.

(my lips at the moment belonged to Fandral who I found out after our big fight was one hell of a kisser)

"Watch yourself, buddy, or I might have to give you another taste of my boyfriend the taster, want to test me, Satan-boy?"

I taped the taser on his horns to show just how serious I was, it wasn't the first time I had to fight off the boys but I was a one man kind of girl.

"Not at all, darling, I think I'll disappear before that happens."

"Tell Thor I owe him a tase for sending you to bug the hell out of me."

With the mention of another jolt the god finally left me to have my morning coffee in peace, while I marveled in the fact that he was even more outlandishly dressed than Thor (and how much I liked Thor ten times more than the little brother), and I went back to my mundane life.

That is until Fandral decided to stop by for a make out session all dressed in his shiny warrior clothes, well, at least he didn't have antlers.


End file.
